Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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