Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
