so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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