In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
