THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize