i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
