I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
