My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
