About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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