I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think my vagina is haunted
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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