bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
