we have officially lost it.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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