Dual....:-)
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I love you.
Bad choice
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
