I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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