I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
