after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
