Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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