i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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