If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
