After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
