I wannas sexs uuuuu
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
