we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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