Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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