i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
