Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
