i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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