The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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