You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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