I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
