Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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