yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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