Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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