I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
