escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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