Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
This toilet bowl is my home.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
