Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
