My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
