Having a random hookup so left but love u
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
