she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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