If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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