Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
