I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
