i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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