i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
