I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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