why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
