I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Your penis caused this!
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