So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
