think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The air taste purple.
Randomize
