eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
