he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
