To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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