operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
