we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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