my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My breasts were aching with rage.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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