Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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