Are we in a gay sports bar?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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