i think my tv is drunk
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
